Sharpening Friends

Sharpening Friends

You use steel to sharpen steel,

and one friend sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17

Several years ago, a friend and colleague asked me to sing in a community choir concert he was directing.    When I showed up for the first rehearsal, he was delighted, but the women in my section were less than welcoming.  Each rehearsal, three of them alternated between catty remarks and the cold shoulder.  Finally, after several weeks of this, I thought, "You know - I do this for a living; why am I subjecting myself to this in my spare time?"  At the end of the session, I quietly left my music on the chair in the choir loft, and walked out with no intention of returning. 

The morning light brought some doubts - perhaps I was being too sensitive?  Perhaps the women didn't mean it the way it sounded?  A good friend of mine had called with an invitation to lunch, and it provided me with the opportunity to bounce my woes off another sounding board. I told her all the remarks that had been made, from start to finish, and then we discussed what was said and why the individuals involved might have made the comments.  In the end, she reassured me that I was being neither unreasonable nor overly sensitive.  The remarks were not made in a friendly manner so it should be no surprise that I did not take them that way.

My friend is no pushover.  If she thought I was in the wrong, she would have told me quite plainly - one of the reasons why she is treasured.  I wasn't looking for someone to agree with me; I was seeking another opinion of the events and the soundness of my interpretation.  I would value her opinion whether she thought I was right or wrong, and she would continue to value my friendship either way.

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What a friend we have in Jesus,

All our sins and griefs to bear.

What a privilege to carry

Everything to God in prayer.

O what peace we often forfeit,

O what needless pain we bear,

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer.

The United Methodist Hymnal, No. 526